Dennis of Grunty Fen on banjo Dennis of Grunty Fen

A Message from Dennis


A Message From Dennis


Hey up.

†††††††† I hope yer can read this on yer little lectronic thingy. Iím not keen on íem meself cos yer canít do much else useful with íem. Iíd rather have a newspaper to read stuff from. Mind, themís that small nowadays and I like the big íuns, íspecially the weeklies.

†† ††††† The big old weeklies was better for floors. Yer could cover all the way across the scullery lino from the slop bucket to the sack of layersí mash with a couple of pages from the old weeklies. Yer canít get half-way with little papers and thems not so absorbent neither and yeríd do for yer little lectronic thingy if yer put that on the floor.

††††††††† Anyway, Webmistress come round and say to have a go at writing a message and I writ a lot of good stuff out for her with that green biro I found in the gravel outside the Bull the Tuesday before Easter. Thatíd been run over by the dray but that still writ quite clear if yer pressed hard.

Dennis of Grunty FenI showed her me stuff and that didnít please her. She take one look at me green biro stuff and say Iíd haí to get it typed up. I tells her no trouble, I got five typewriters in me office shed including the Remington whatís good for zís and Qís and the Imperial with the brackets but she say there werenít so much call for brackets these days (like she know) and werenít there someone with a proper typewriter so I tells her Iíd see Miss Edwards about it.

Miss Edwards say sheíd be delighted and itís her whatís typing this stuff up for me and putting me spelling right most of the time. Before she start I run a bit of Three-In-One over her Olivetti with a feather I got off a pheasant what didnít quite make it across the A10. Me Gran said there werenít enough left to feed the two of us so thatís lucky his feather come in handy else heíd have died in vain.

†††††††† Anyway, I hope yer can read that all right and have a good time looking round me website and donít forget to call in at Dennisís Shop and buy suffun afore yer go. Thereís recordings and cards and a map of Grunty Fen and stuff like that.

†††††††† Keep coming back to have another look round cos me stockíll be expanding all the time and Webmistress say eventually sheíll put our parish magazine The Grunter Ďonlineí as she call it soís yer can keep up with events in Grunty Fen, and Iíll be giving yer good advice from time to time on me blog.††

Dennis of Grunty Fen and one of his rude roots†††††††† If yer want Webmistress to let yer know when thereís new stuff in me shop or when a new edition of The Grunter come out, she say yíll have to Ďemailí Miss Edwards and let her know:

†††††††† Thaís all in ya loif,

††††††††††††††††† Dennis of Grunty Fen


(as typed up by Miss Edwards on her Olivetti and sent to Webmistress for putting on the lectronics.)