Arts and Artisans of Grunty Fen
Miss Bedding Stuff is
the title awarded by the local horticultural industry to their beauty queen.
Inigo Haycock is a former revue artist who
makes all his own clothes, mostly of plum velvet. He and Honey Brite make a living writing
verses for greetings cards and hold sophisticated soirees at which all the
food, even the sprouts, is served on cocktail sticks.
Honey Brite, when she was still known as Nora Merchant, captivated the young
Dennis and gave him a plastic butterfly hairgrip which he still treasures.
She left Grunty Fen to be a holiday camp Yellow Coat before returning Ė
renamed - to her native village where she now lives in a ĎTudorí asbestos
bungalow with Inigo Haycock. You can hear more
Brite on the album Thaís All In Ya Loif.
Big Enid makes
holly wreaths with her bare hands and beats a drum so dancers can keep time
at village socials.
Antoinette Clayden is devoted to handicrafts and
the arts. Dennis has long been trying to help her assemble a spinning wheel
she bought by post but it keeps turning into a nest of tables.
Mr Simpson prints and edits the local
weekly newspaper, The Bugle. Despite a serious shortage of
some letters of the alphabet in his type cases, Mr
Simpson prints not only The Bugle but also many other periodicals, including Modern Ferretting, The British Bird Stuffer and The Grunter,
parish newsletter of Grunty Fen.
limited space and a busy workload, pages of these and other periodicals are
sometimes muddled, so that readers of† The Gas
Fitter may get a glimpse of cool hep-cat
reporting of the complex music scene in
British Xylophonist with which is incorporated Modern Glockenspiel.
feels that Mr Southís journalistic abilities would
be greatly improved if he would only write like Touchline Tom in The Bugle,
and he told Mr South just that in A
Blast from the Bugle on Archive
Dennis entertained Mr South with tales of Winston
and other colourful characters from
his schooldays in The