Notable Inhabitants of Grunty Fen
(For Sundry Denizens,
please click here.)
Miss Edwards runs the Post Office and village store which her father
left to her and her sister Miss Edna. Unfortunately, Miss Edwards is
the victim of smart salesmen who talk her into buying huge quantities of
unsaleable stock such as enamel sink tidies.
she is called upon to type the parish newsletter, The Grunter, on her Olivetti.
The Grunter has a regular column of apologies and corrections.
Miss Edwards is also the organist for Grunty Fen Parish Church and she is happy to oblige not
just on Sundays but on any day of the week.
to reach the full crescendo her organ needs constant manual pumping by
if running her own store wasn’t enough, Miss Edwards looks after Dennis’s
Shop and you may get a handwritten note from her if you
buy anything that needs posting out to you. Dennis tells Mr South about this
remarkable lady in The
Post Office and Miss Edwards from the album Tha’s
All In Ya Loif.
Miss Edna is of
a very nervous disposition and seldom emerges from the back room behind the
shop. She was courted by Dennis for fourteen years but finally rejected him
because ‘she couldn’t go out with a man what blowed off’.
Woollie Woollard is Dennis’s intellectually challenged
best friend. He lives with his brother in a frequently flooded ramshackle
house which totters on the edge of a fen drain. Sometimes it leans one way,
sometimes another. The brothers have no known gainful occupation but breed Mudmogs,
a species of fen cats whose back legs are longer than their front legs.
George Robinson is a Ukrainian shepherd refugee from WWII who lives in a Nissen hut
surrounded by thorns. His original name is lost and Dennis’s Gran calls him
He sometimes speaks of his girlfriend far away, and he owns a van made up of
many other vans of numerous different makes.
George survives on
an ever-simmering saucepan of stew made up from whatever he finds. If you’d like to hear what Dennis found at the
bottom of George’s stew, you need The
Stew from the album
Warning: that episode is not to be used as a recipe, as not many stews would
be enhanced by a cotter pin off a Hercules.
(For Sundry Denizens of Grunty Fen, please click here.)