Job-Givers
(For Tradespersons, please
click here.)
There are several
places of gainful employment in Grunty Fen.
The Offal Sheds, hard
by the village of Windy Huts, are well-known and avoided by
the majority of Grunty Fennians. The sheds are staffed by lawless ruffians
from Windy Huts who are easily recognisable by their massive knobkerries and
lack of sense of smell.
A gentle rasping
sound emanates
from the area around the Offal Sheds in the evening; this is the snoring of
the local rodents which are ludicrously well-fed when the day shift ends.
Their docility after a heavy supper makes them easy prey, hence the Grunty
Fen saying: ‘As easy as an Offal Shed rat’.
However during the night shift they go hungry, which in a
morning makes them quick, tricky and vicious, hence the Grunty Fen saying:
‘As easy as an Offal Shed rat’.
It’s a
fool who leaves his bike leaned up against the hedge to answer a call of
nature: he may return to find his bike has been gnawed down to the metalwork.
The Fancies
Factory is the popular local name for a cake and patisserie
bakery employing a number of local people. Recurrent problems with the cream horn
machine produce a superabundance of empty horns which are given away to
Grunty Fen villagers; the ladies of the local WI are famous for their brawn
horns. Sometimes the cream gun used to fill the horns continues to fire cream
even when no horns are being baked. This provides another local catering
opportunity. To hear the repercussions of the machinery going wrong, you need
Toad
In The Horn from the album The
Last Episodes.
The Carrot Sheds is a vegetable preparation and packing place employing young ladies
known as Carrot
Scrubbers.
The Extrusions is how local people refer to the nearby plastics factory where Dennis
briefly worked until he had an unfortunate encounter with a hot drinks
vending machine.
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