Job-Givers

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There are several places of gainful employment in Grunty Fen.

The Offal Sheds, hard by the village of Windy Huts, are well-known and avoided by the majority of Grunty Fennians. The sheds are staffed by lawless ruffians from Windy Huts who are easily recognisable by their massive knobkerries and lack of sense of smell.

A gentle rasping sound emanates from the area around the Offal Sheds in the evening; this is the snoring of the local rodents which are ludicrously well-fed when the day shift ends. Their docility after a heavy supper makes them easy prey, hence the Grunty Fen saying: ‘As easy as an Offal Shed rat’.

However during the night shift they go hungry, which in a morning makes them quick, tricky and vicious, hence the Grunty Fen saying: ‘As easy as an Offal Shed rat’.

It’s a fool who leaves his bike leaned up against the hedge to answer a call of nature: he may return to find his bike has been gnawed down to the metalwork.

The Fancies Factory is the popular local name for a cake and patisserie bakery employing a number of local people. Recurrent problems with the cream horn machine produce a superabundance of empty horns which are given away to Grunty Fen villagers; the ladies of the local WI are famous for their brawn horns. Sometimes the cream gun used to fill the horns continues to fire cream even when no horns are being baked. This provides another local catering opportunity. To hear the repercussions of the machinery going wrong, you need Toad In The Horn from the album The Last Episodes.

The Carrot Sheds is a vegetable preparation and packing place employing young ladies known as Carrot Scrubbers.

The Extrusions is how local people refer to the nearby plastics factory where Dennis briefly worked until he had an unfortunate encounter with a hot drinks vending machine.

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