Miss Edwards runs the Post Office and village store which her father left to her and her sister Miss Edna. Unfortunately, Miss Edwards is the victim of smart salesmen who talk her into buying huge quantities of unsaleable stock such as enamel sink tidies. Occasionally she is called upon to type the parish newsletter, The Grunter, on her Olivetti. The Grunter has a regular column of apologies and corrections.
Miss Edwards is also the organist for Grunty Fen Parish Church and she is happy to oblige not just on Sundays but on any day of the week. However, to reach the end of her crescendo her organ needs constant manual pumping by Dennis.
As if running her own store wasn’t enough, Miss Edwards looks after Dennis’s Shop and you may get a handwritten note from her if you buy anything that needs posting out to you. Dennis tells Mr South about this remarkable lady in The Post Office and Miss Edwards from the album Tha’s All In Ya Loif.
Miss Edwards’ sister, Miss Edna, is of a very nervous disposition and seldom emerges from the back room behind the shop. She was courted by Dennis for fourteen years but finally rejected him because ‘she couldn’t go out with a man what blowed off’.
Woollie Woollard is Dennis’s intellectually challenged best friend. He lives with his brother in a frequently flooded ramshackle house which totters on the edge of a fen drain. Sometimes it leans one way, sometimes another.
The brothers have no known gainful occupation but breed Mudmogs, a species of fen cats whose back legs are longer than their front legs.
George Robinson is a Ukrainian shepherd refugee from WWII who lives in a Nissen hut surrounded by thorns. His original name is lost and Dennis’s Gran calls him ‘The Ukelele’. He sometimes speaks of his girlfriend far away, and he owns a van made up of many other vans of numerous different makes.
George survives on an ever-simmering saucepan of stew made up from whatever he finds. If you’d like to hear what Dennis found at the bottom of George’s stew, you need The Stew from the album Archive Editions 3. Warning: that episode is not to be used as a recipe, as not many stews would be enhanced by a cotter pin off a Hercules.