Earthquake made my mugs tremble

Dear people of the Fens,

With the recent earthquake activity in Lincolnshire and Yorkshire perhaps it is time we had a scale of magnitude more appropriate to our gentle lands than the one proposed by Mr Richter.
I suggest we adopt the scale proposed by Mr Marsden in his talk (see here).

The new British Earthquake Scale would be like this:
1. On the cusp of being felt
2. Like a cat falling off a wardrobe
3. Like someone moving furniture
4. Causes motorbikes to fall over
5. Like a patio door being closed
6. Like the Hulk jumping about
7. Like a rhino ran into the house
8. Bird goes mad downstairs
9. Large artificial tree shakes
10. Like someone arriving on a tractor
11. Like Father Christmas breaking in a day late
12. Mugs nearly fall of the shelf

It would improve the clarity of news reports. For example if a BES 5 was reported everybody would immediately know what the perceived effect was for those in the immediate area.

I’ll mention this idea to the W.I. next time we meet.

 

Yours faithfully

Miss Edwards
Grunty Fen General Stores and Post Office

 

 

 

Meet the Author of Grunty Fen “Customs”

Hello there,

Just a little picture to remind you of the flavour of The Customs and Folklore of Grunty Fen.

Fen Sway
Pupils attending a domestic science class at Grunty Fen learn the correct Fen Sway procedure for draining a distemper brush.

This is just one of the many photographs illustrating Customs and Folklore that are used to demonstrate the theories of Mr Christopher South. Buy the book and meet the author in Burrows Bookshop (Ely) on March 24th.

Do please come along if you are able to. Mr South is always ready to meet normal people and rarely scares anybody.

Best wishes.

Miss Edwards

Grunty Fen Post Office and General Stores

 

Meet the Author of the Who’s Who of Grunty Fen

Dear Reader,

That lovely gentleman from the BBC, Mr Christopher South, will be in Ely on Saturday 24th March at Burrows Bookshop. This will be an ideal time for you to get your books signed. Including, of course, The Who’s Who in Grunty Fen and extract of which is attached.

Mr South will be discussing Who’s Who  and his other books with anybody who would care to attend his event at Burrows Bookshop, Ely on March 24th. The Burrows Face Book is here

 

 

 

 

The particular “Who” this sample page refers to is MOTHER MARJORY (fl. 1490)
Founder of the Theory of Duality of Purpose
and originator of the edible poultice.

 

Best regards

Miss Edwards
Grunty Fen Post Office and General Stores

Meet the Author of The Authorised Guide to Grunty Fen

Dear Reader,

That lovely gentleman from the BBC, Mr Christopher South, will be in Ely on Saturday 24th March at Burrows Bookshop. This will be an ideal time for you to get your books signed.

 

I can recommend The Authorised Guide to Grunty Fen. A splendid example and the first of Mr South’s Grunty Fen trilogy.

Below is an example of one of the pages of the Authorised Guide to give you a flavour of the work of Mr South.

 

 

For further details of the event in Ely please contact Burrows Bookshop :

https://www.facebook.com/events/953608204789617/

Kindest regards

Miss Edwards

Meet the Author of our Grunty Fen books 24th March 2018

Dear reader,

It is with great excitement I have to announce that Mr Christopher South will be having an Event! If you would like to meet Mr South and put a face to the senior voice of Radio Cambridgeshire please do go along to Burrow’s Bookshop in Ely on 24th March between half-past ten and twelve o’clock. That’s a Saturday.

All of Christopher’s book will be available to purchase and to get autographed including the latest Customs and Folklore of Grunty Fen. I am sure the author will be very pleased to meet you – he does like to know who reads his books and what their gardens are like.

Burrows bookshop has a facebook page here :

https://www.facebook.com/events/953608204789617/

Best wishes

Miss Edwards

The original travelling salesmen

Hello there. Many people think that the Grunty Fen General Stores have been here for ever! But before my sister and I took over the little post office Grunty Fen was visited by characters such as this gentleman who would deliver and sell all matters of comestibles.  Everything from cement to elastic for under-clothing. Just you read the chapter on Old Rep in Christopher South’s latest book.

I learn something new every time I pick it up!

 

Best of Dennis Volume 5 is reissued

Hello,

The cassette version of volume 5 featured Dennis with one of his rude root pictures.

We are all very pleased at Grunty Fen to hear that Dennis’s shop is now able to supply the Best Of Dennis Vol 5 on CD or a digital download. This is a collection of Dennis episodes originally released on cassette tapes.

To quote Mr South “This compilation features a wide variety of subjects involving mince, custard and gravy, army life, tortoises, the mysterious spirituality of the hadnabinfers, strange offerings in supermarkets, Gran’s bloomers, budgie cages and the light harvest festival. ”

Dennis spoke  on several occasions about the hadnabinfer problem but I’m no closer to an understanding. Listen to Volume 5 yourself and then perhaps you can explain it to me.

Volume 5 is only available from Dennis’s shop in this location.

Fond regards

Miss Edwards